Lost in the Stacks: Dear Dealer

Once they were the Bowers Girls: Sasha, the eldest, an exuberant troublemaker with a heart of gold; Nadia, the youngest, the "good girl" who played peacemaker. There were silly nicknames based on cat foods, a shared love for Prince and insider jokes that left them helpless with laughter. Yet there were also Sasha's stints in rehab and her questionable behavior that tested their relationship. And one day the Bowers Girls were no more: Sasha overdosed. 

Nadia, anguished by her sister's death, fixated on Sasha's dealer. Whoever sold Sasha the deadly fentanyl needed to pay a price for not only destroying a life, but also for shattering her family and friends. Decoding cryptic texts and muffled voice mails from Sasha's phone, Nadia slowly pieced together her sister's last days. Expanding her investigation, Nadia also interviewed friends, detectives and therapists tracking down clues as to why Sasha died a lonely death in a restaurant parking lot. 

In trying to understand Sasha's death, inevitably Nadia learned much about her sister's life. Sasha had multiple advanced degrees and cared deeply for her clients as a social worker, yet her struggle with addiction left her scrambling for housing, jobs and money. She exhausted her family with her chaos and lies, but Nadia began to understand that her family might be complicit as well. As exhausting as Sasha could be, she was equally exhausted by her family's expectations and silence about her tic disorder. 

Dear Dealer is a memoir about the aftermath of Sasha's devastating death, but it's also a sister's reflections on Sasha's years of struggle with addiction. Deeply affecting, I recommend this memoir for readers who enjoy well-written memoirs, as well as readers interested in grief and personal stories about addiction. 

Still can't get enough nonfiction? Below are two more titles I recommend this month. You may also want to sign up for our monthly nonfiction email newsletter. We'll send you my picks of six fascinating books you might have missed.

Death of an Ordinary Man by Sarah Perry

“Perry's first close experience with death gives her a lens with which to view herself, her loved ones, and her community with candor and love. An honest, affecting, eminently relatable account.” —Kirkus

The Only Thing There is to Want: A Memoir in Three Loves by Sarah Hepola

“A wickedly lovable account of three lost loves. Hepola’s self-deprecating candor and perfectly paced storytelling make this book anything but the boohoo-fest you might imagine. Possibly the perfect gift for a friend going through a breakup.”—Oprah Daily