Wedding planning can be mind-boggling. If you are planning for a second time, wedding planning takes on a whole new degree of difficulty.   Here is a helpful list of wedding etiquette if you are planning a second trip down the aisle.

•   Brides rest assured – you CAN wear white!  That old belief that second-time brides need to stay away from white is a thing of the past.  Many ‘encore’ brides choose dresses in hues of champagne and ivory.  Just try to avoid a dress that closely resembles your first wedding dress.

•  When announcing your new engagement, tell your children first.  Give them time to adjust to the idea.  Next, let your parents in on the joy.  Then, if you have joint custody of young children, let your ex-spouse know.  Finally, announce your engagement to the public.

•  If you decide to go with a religious ceremony, meet with the officiant well in advance of your desired wedding date.  Some religions require extra classes or steps for marrying after divorce.

•  Go ahead and register for gifts.  Many of your friends and family are going to want to mark this occasion with a gift – help them by registering for things you may want or need.  Spread the word of your registries by word of mouth, not by inserting cards into the invitations.

•  Celebrate!  Don’t limit your reception because you’ve had one already.  Enjoy your day!  However, steer clear of trying to replicate your first reception.

Looking for more information?  Check out these titles available in the Weddings Neighborhood:

 Ex-Etiquette for Weddings: The Blended Families Guide to Tying the Knot by Jann Blackstone-Ford

Encore brides and couples with divorced parents will find helpful and suitable advice in this sophisticated, up-to-date wedding guide and etiquette primer. Jann Blackstone-Ford, a certified divorce and stepfamily mediator, and Sharyl Jupe, her husband’s first wife, know firsthand how to make a blended family wedding a joyous affair.

 Bride Again by Beth Reed Ramirez

Not a book of checklists and worksheets, Bride Again offers tips and provides answers. Is it okay to wear white? Can my son give me away? And what am I going to tell my ex? Where can I find a gown I feel comfortable in? What would be appropriate?

 1001 Ways to Have a Dazzling Second Wedding by Sharon Naylor

Provides current and applicable how-to’s on everything the second bride needs, including such subjects as: gown choice, family participation, guest diplomacy, invitation wording, reception planning, religious requirements, and legalities.

 Getting Married When It’s Not Your First Time by Pamela Hill Nettleton

Any bride who’s headed back to the altar faces a paralyzing number of tricky situations ‘ as well as the challenge of making this second or third (or more!) wedding unique in its own right. This enormously helpful guide, written by an experienced “encore” bride, features a wealth of inspiring suggestions for handling delicate etiquette issues and navigating complex family ties.

As you set up your registry, stick to two or three stores that you love. You’ll want to choose a national department store or a chain since such stores also let guests access and shop from your registry online. Then even guests who live out of state or abroad can log on to the website and make purchases.

These days, you can register for almost anything you like, since home-improvement centers, sporting-goods stores, and other unexpected places have begun to offer such services for engaged couples. Think of your guests — you may want to choose stores that are low-, medium-, and high-end, so guests have gifts in a variety of price ranges to choose from. Register for more gifts than you have guests, so there will be plenty of items to choose from. Complete your registry four to six months before the wedding. This will give guests time to purchase gifts for the big day, but also for your engagement party or bridal shower.

Registry expert Mary Rose Gearon says, “Don’t think just about your lifestyle as it is today. You’ll be entertaining more in the years to come, so create a wish list of items: a platter for your first Thanksgiving dinner or champagne glasses for a New Year’s toast. Keep those special occasions in mind; it’s a wonderful way to include loved ones in those important milestones.”

Etiquette dictates that registry information should never be included in a wedding invitation, even though some stores provide printed cards for this purpose. Instead, rely on your family members and wedding party to spread the word. It is generally acceptable for the hostess of a shower to include these details on that invitation however. Some stores will even gift wraps items from a wedding registry for free, so that is an added bonus for your guests!

If you don’t receive everything you registered for, don’t worry. Many stores have a completion program that offers a discount on remaining items, or will keep the registry active from a few months to a few years, so friends and relatives can continue to purchase gifts from it for other special occasions in your life.

Ideally, you should acknowledge every present immediately by writing a thank you note the day you receive it. If that isn’t possible, sending a note within two weeks is also acceptable. Of course, the period surrounding your wedding is a busy time; if you fall behind, just make every effort to send a note as soon as you can — but no later than three months after the event.

While policies vary from store to store, many shops will keep your registry active for at least one year after your wedding date. This means you’ll still be able to manage and edit your wish list online, and people who want to buy a gift for you after the event (it’s acceptable to do so up to one year later) will have access to it as well.  Also, many stores will offer couples a discount of about 10 percent if they want to purchase the remaining items on their registry after the wedding — something you should keep in mind as you try to figure out how to spend any gift cards or cash you receive.

So, are you ready to shop?  Let us know which stores you thought offered the best options as you filled out your registry.  Maybe we’ll go shopping, too!

And if you need more ideas from Martha Stewart, check out her wedding books and magazines at the library in our Wedding Neighborhood.

Since Pinterest is the place to organize and share online images that you find intersting or inspiring, it’s the perfect place for brides-to-be!  You can replace that bulky three-ring binder with the simplicity and portability of a Pinterest account.  In two years of existence, Pinterest has become a hotbed for the wedding industry.  Pinterest users add images to their virtual bulletin boards — called Pinboards — to assist in planning for the big day.  And some people who aren’t even engaged yet are collecting ideas for their future wedding day. You can also collaborate with those who are helping to plan your wedding by allowing others to Pin ideas on your wedding board.

Pinning an image is easy with one click of a button, a simple drag-and-drop browser extension.  Once an image has been assigned to a board, text can be added.  If the Pin is something you want to purchase, you can include the price in the description and it will attach to the Pin for easy reference.  When you are out and about shopping and find the perfect item, take a picture with your iPhone and add it to your board with the mobile app. (At this time there is no Android support.)  You can also Repin posts from other people.  Most Pins are photos, but you can also Pin videos.

Pinterest is an easy way to make planning a wedding less stressful and more manageable.  Each picture that is Pinned to a board is typically linked to a site where you can buy the styles you want, learn DIY (Do It Yourself) crafting techniques, and become informed about the latest trends and fads.  Friends and other Pinterst followers can also leave comments and feedback, which makes the whole process very interactive and fun!

Sound interesting?  If you want to check out Pinterest you have to be invited.  Friends and family members on Facebook or Twitter who also have a Pinterest account are the ones to ask about this.  You can sign up for invites on the site but be prepared for a wait.  The easiest way is to ask someone to send you an invitation.

Once you have an account, you can choose between 32 different topic areas, browsing everything from fitness to art to science.  To find other Pinners, you can access the Everything drop-down menu and filter Boards by category.  If you find a Board that’s interesting, you can follow its updates. Like Twitter, it’s an open network, so follows don’t require permission.  You can also tweet or share Pins on Facebook to help expand your network on all three services.  Another place to check out is the Popular button which shows what Pins are trending at the moment.  It’s the perfect way to find new content and see what Pinners are sharing your own interests.

Due to its popularity, Pinterest has had a little trouble keeping up with all of the “fixes” and streamlining that are needed.  When the server isn’t overloaded, a simple search can still take a while to load.  It would also be nice to have private boards and to filter certain categories for better Pin discovery.  Still, Pinterest has cracked the current list of top 10 social networks, and its popularity continues to grow by leaps and bounds.

So, if you are on the Internet and find some great ideas for your wedding: Pin it up, get organized and have some fun!  And let us know which ideas you found interesting, okay?

The United States offers an endless number of exciting wedding destinations with all of its diverse cultural and geographic options.  Couples can enjoy weddings in a lush forest or on a snow-capped mountain, on a sandy beach at the water’s edge or in a cosmopolitan metropolis.  Each state has different marriage license requirements which you can check out on www.marriage.about.com.  Be aware that both the bride and groom must register in person in most states.  Travel and tourism for the part of the country you choose can provide ideas for venues, hotels and attractions.  Each region of the country also has its own local associations for wedding-related products and services.  Some national organizations websites are The Association for Wedding Professionals International: www.afwpi.com and the Association of Bridal Consultants: www.bridalassn.com.

One of the many great books we have in the Wedding Neighborhood is “Destination Bride: A Complete Guide to Planning Your Wedding Anywhere in the World“ by Lisa Light.  This book is a complete guide to planning your wedding anywhere in the world.  The author highly recommends that you budget for and make a planning trip if you are putting together a destination wedding.  She offers considerable information on organizing the event, choosing the site, preparing your guests and yourselves, and how to pull it all together with contracts and travel plans. More than half of the book is devoted to locales here in America as well as every other inhabitable continent where your wedding could be held.  This book should be a must-read before making your destination wedding plans.

Another book that will give you some great ideas for destination weddings is “Beyond Vegas: 25 Exotic Wedding and Elopement Destinations Around the World“ by Lisa Tabb and Sam Silverstein.  This couple did the research for this book in a very unique way.  They eloped ten times over the course of a year!  Each elopement allowed them to travel to a destination and discover the many nuggets of wisdom they share in their book.  From Scotland to Antigua, Wyoming to Ontario, Ecuador to Borneo . . . you will  learn the cost and degree of difficulty in getting married in a different locale.  Other helpful information includes the time of year to go, legal requirements, travel insights and additional contact information.  The pictures of the couple as they repeatedly “eloped” are entertaining as well.

The Wedding Neighborhood has books on planning a Disney World or Disney Cruise Line wedding day and/or honeymoon, the 100 best destinations for a United States wedding, The Knot’s guide to destination weddings, and even books on “outdoor weddings in storybook settings.”  Plan to stop by and see what we have available to help you plan for your special event. 

For those interested in more books and DVDs on traveling, you are also invited to visit our Travel Neighborhood in the East Wing of the library.  Here you will discover many wonderful places to go for that perfect wedding, reception or honeymoon.  Maps, personal accounts, and atraction brochures are also waiting on the shelves for you.

Marriages can begin in a hot air balloon floating over your guests or in scuba gear underwater off your favorite island getaway.  But remember: “Too often we are so occupied with the destination, we forget the journey.”   It’s your special time as a couple planning for your future, so enjoy the journey . . . wherever it takes you!

2)      Get the engagement ring insured.  This is an often overlooked step, but an important one.

3)      Set the date – or at least a ballpark idea (Fall 2012, Spring 2013).  This will be important when talking with vendors, but remember you may need to be flexible.

4)      Start a wedding file or a wedding planner. Look through bridal, fashion, lifestyle, design and food magazines for inspiring ideas.  Don’t forget the numerous websites that are available also.

5)      Set a wedding budget!  It is important to know how much you can spend before you start looking at locations, dresses, and menus.

6)      Start a guest list.  There’s plenty of time to tweak the list, but an estimate will be needed to know the size of wedding venue and reception site that will be needed

7)      Get engagement photos.  These photos can be used in your local newspaper and save the date announcements.

8)      Start thinking about the wedding and reception sites.  Keep in mind that popular places can be booked well in advance (sometimes more than a year).  Come up with alternative locations and be creative.

9)      Choose your attendants.  Your attendants will be helpful in the planning process . . . and make the whole process a lot of fun!

10)  Begin the hunt for the wedding dress.  Remember it will take time to find THE DRESS.  Plus, time will need to be allotted for fittings and alterations on top of the time it takes for the dress to arrive.

Need more inspiration?  Here’s a list of Wedding Books that will help you on your journey!

Bridal Bargains: Secrets To Throwing a Fantastic Wedding on a Realistic Budget  

by Fields, Denise & Alan

Published in 2011, this book was shown on the Oprah show, The Today Show and Dateline NBC.  With average wedding costs soaring over $25,000, you need real life solutions and creative ideas to plan a wedding without going bankrupt. Bridal Bargains, in its 9th edition with over 700,000 copies in print, will show you how to save money in every area of your wedding plans.

My Fair Wedding: Finding Your Vision– Through His Revisions!

by Tutera, David

This book is based on the WETV series My Fair Wedding.  Only a few lucky brides-to-be get the wedding makeover of their dreams as part of this hit reality show. With your library card, now you can plan the wedding you want with this wonderful book. It features the stories of the most memorable My Fair Wedding brides and gives you the “Tutera touch” as well as tools for creating an affair that you will cherish forever.

Weddings by Tara Guérard  

by Guerard, Tara and Banfield, Liz

With over a decade of experience, Tara Guérard is a premier event designer. In this book she takes the reader on a personally guided tour through twelve dream weddings. Tara covers topics from decorating the altar, the table, and even the bride’s shoes to choosing a venue and making decisions about the type of food to serve.  Tips and tricks are featured to make your special day even more special.

Autumn Friedli created this month’s blog.

This year the library will have a booth at the fair to highlight our Wedding Neighborhood and the way it can help you plan and carry out the perfect wedding. Our booth will be located in the alcove area, so be sure to make your way there and see what surprises we have in store for you! We will have an interactive area involving food (!), a daily sign up for a free gift, wedding songs to listen to, books to peruse, and librarians to share thoughts and ideas with as you visit the fair.

We really would love to have you stop by and visit with us! Most of the booths at the fair have something to purchase, but everything we have at the Topeka and Shawnee County Library’s booth is free! What a deal! Doesn’t that make you want to stop by and check out the booth? We certainly hope you will.

The library is always adding new books to the neighborhoods, and here are some of the recent purchases that will be making their way to our Wedding Neighborhood shelves very soon.

 Bridal Bible: Inspiration For Planning Your Perfect Wedding by Sharon Naylor

This is a comprehensive, full-color guide to planning your wedding. The Bridal Bible helps the couple navigate their way through the world of invitation designs, ceremony styles, cake flavors, flower bouquets, and much more.  The photo gallery alone with inspire you!

Matthew Robbins’ Inspired Weddings: Designing Your Big Day With Favorite Objects and Family Treasures by Matthew Robbins

Matthew Robbins is one of Martha Stewart’s “go-to” experts who shares insider tips and industry secrets to make your special day even more special.  He helps couples plan a wedding around a special object that is meaningful to them.

A Practical Wedding: Creative Solutions For Planning a Beautiful, Affordable & Meaningful Celebration by Meg Keene

This book deals with the myth of tradition, budgets and planning, ceremony and do-it-yourself ideas for your special day.  Practical and creative . . . what more do you need?

Vintage Weddings: One Hundred Years of Bridal Fashion and Style by Marnie Fogg

Today’s bride wants a wedding dress that expresses her personal style while also reflecting a rich tradition.  Nothing achieves that goal as gracefully as a vintage or replica wedding gown.  This book has more than 250 phototgraphs which take readers on a dazzling tour of the past hundred years of bridal fashion.

Be the Man: the Man Registry Guide for Grooms by Chris Easter

The book is written by the co-founder of The Man Registry(r), a highly popular site visited by millions of grooms and grooms-to-be each year. Be the Man is an irreverent, yet highly-informative guide that will help grooms get through all of the big decisions and obstacles concerning the Big Day. Along with lots of practical advice, the book features numerous lighthearted stories from the  grooms who came before you . . . and lived to tell about it!

Words For the Wedding: Creative Ideas For Personalizing Your Vows, Toasts, Invitations & More by Wendy Paris

Brides- and grooms-to-be looking for unique, inspiring ways to celebrate their special day will find the best words of love in this practical guide. Romantic and witty, classic and contemporary, multicultural, pop-cultural, and just plain fun . . . if it’s been said about love, it’s in this book.

These books have already been ordered so if you see something on the list that looks interesting to you, go ahead and request it. We will notify you when it comes in and you may have it. That way you will be one of the first ones to read a new book from the Wedding Neighborhood in 2012! 

Happy New Year . . . and don’t forget to come see us at the Bridal Fair!

Hi!  My name is Cindy and I’m the new Wedding Neighborhood Specialist at your library.  I’ve worked at the library for over nine years, but just recently joined the Adult Services Department.

While I wouldn’t say that I’m a true “specialist” when it comes to weddings, I have to admit that I’ve recently helped my daughter pull off a wedding that was beautiful while still being affordable and including just what she wanted.  (That’s got to account for something, right?)  And we all had fun and learned something along the way, too!

It’s great to have ideas and plans and dreams, when it comes to a wedding . . . but somehow you have to make it work for a finite cost!  We turned to the library again and again for books on flowers, church decorations, reception favors, and photography.  We copied off guidelines for the costs, timelines starting at 12 months out from the wedding, and pictures to take to the florist.  We used DIY (Do It Yourself) books to shape some ideas into definite creations for the big day.

My daughter’s wedding occurred almost a year and a half ago, before there was even a “neighborhood” in place for weddings here at the library.  All the information we used from the library was scattered throughout several different areas in the non-fiction section.

Today, anything you need in planning your wedding can be found in the Wedding Neighborhood which is located in the west wing of the library next to the Lawn & Garden Neighborhood.  In the Wedding Neighborhood we have gathered together books, wedding CDs, Brides magazines, and even a few DVDs.  Library books cover such topics as a timeline for planning a wedding; bridal showers and the wedding ceremony; wedding dresses, cakes, flowers and photography; proper wedding etiquette and how to survive the special day.

Now, all you need is the Bride and Groom . . . and let’s have a wedding!